I'm not a preachy vegetarian, don't be an asshole omnivore

One of my brothers appreciates how I'm not super vocal and preachy and over the top about the things that make me even more of a minority than what I already might be considered. I'm not a super swishy over the top out gay man, and I am not a pushy, preachy, holier-than-thou vegetarian. I figure, just respect people whoever they may be, and let them make their own decisions even if you may not agree with them. In other fronts I may be a little less forgiving, or push back against views I don't necessarily agree with, and my decision to be vegetarian has seldom been one of them. Overtime however, there is the accumulation of small snippy comments along the lines of "more meat for me", and "How could you not like bacon?!" which pile up. They are like small pebbles thrown at my head. They are more annoying then damaging. However if you get enough of them, they accumulate, and maybe slip into your shoes, and eventually fester and aggravate. I have remained respectful of other people's decision to eat meat, and I do not think that it is too much of a stretch of the imagination to expect similar respect in return. However when you crack a joke like pigs are vegetarian, so ham is actually vegetarian too; you are not being clever. You are not being funny. You are being a disrespectful asshole who has become worthy of my contempt. I try to do vegetarian right. I eat plenty of vegetables, and fruit. I try to avoid the bread and pasta pitfall some people fall into sometimes at some restaurants, or at family gatherings where the menu is poorly thought out. I don't constantly preach about how you can actually get more than enough protein being vegan or vegetarian if you eat the right grains and legumes, or how it helps you lose weight, and lower blood pressure, or the other multitude of benefits that being vegetarian can bring (if done correctly). If you crack a joke like the ones I mentioned above when I mention I am vegetarian to you, do not be surprised if I smack you upside the head for your blatant disrespect. Granted, I tend to avoid physical violence, as we are supposed to be a civilized people. But I do hope you understand if I do not speak to you again and that you enjoy your heart disease, and diabetes 20 years from now.

Feelings of loserdom, and grappling with the reality of now

I have been away from this blog for a while, and I had a musing which simply begged it's way to my fingertips onto this computer screen. One of my students made a comment to the effect that he believed I was secretly very successful and doing a spectacular job at hiding that fact. There was some stuff that I read into that statement which basically entered the realm of being a teacher was the "Clark Kent" to my secret identity as an art world "Superman". I recognize that as an egocentric grandiose delusion. I'm a part time teacher working two teaching jobs, digging my way out of crippling student debt, living with my parents. I have had the very recent and inordinately fortuitous luck of exhibiting a substantial artwork in a National Museum. That is such a mind blowing occurrence to me as such a drifter in life with such a late start into anything which could be considered a career. And to one of my students I am "successful".
I understand perspective is very much at play here, and this student only sees one sliver of my reality. What he says and believes is a compliment, and I should take it as that, say "Thank you" and move on. But in my warped sense of what a successful thirty something should look like, the idea that I am successful is such a cognitive dissonance in what I understand to be successful.
Now this alone was just some existentialist ennui until I heard a very thought provoking episode of Citizen Radio where a 26 year old listener refers to himself as a live-with-parents-loser. He goes further to articulate how he is trying to make things better for himself. He was both very candid, and really funny in how he wrote about his situation. His plight prompted many people too empathize and reflect on their own very similar situation. This too, resonated with me, and hearing this caused my student's statement to echo. Unfortunately, in reflecting on my own situation and the age disparity, I felt a little bit worse in the apparent solidarity of college graduates in similar situations. I have friends who are married, have a place of their own, have a well established career with some job security and an overall sense of stability. Contrasting that my own life seems frenetic, and stress has a distinct rhythm which is concurrent with the stability of my income. The past four months have been more stable than the past three years.
Given the fact that I am among the generation of college graduates who had the misfortune of graduating into one of the worst economic times in the history of the United States, I can justify my current state. However, my mind has been warped by the narrative which has been pushed in the media, and socially for the past twenty years or so. In spite of my acknowledging the reality of my situation, cognitively, I have a dissonance which upon self-reflection, nags on me, and provokes the self-identification as a loser.